schoolbook

My Goal

I won't take a bus,
anymore, anymore,
I won't take a bus anymore,
I'll buy a car and learn to drive,
when I am twenty-five.

I won't fly a kite,
anymore, anymore,
I won't fly a kite anymore,
I'll be a pilot and be free,
when I am thirty-three.

I won't cry and be sad,
anymore, anymore,
I won't cry and be sad anymore,
I 'll be brave and tall,
when I am forty-four.

I won't take a pill,
anymore, anymore,
I won't take a pill anymore,
I'll be strong and fine,
when I am ninety-nine.

評語：Gary

* The title of the poem matches the poem very well.

* The idea is very good and very creative.

* The ages you used were 25,33,44, and 99. Only 25 seems a bit out of place because it does not match the others. Maybe it should have been 22. However,then you would need to find a new word to rhyme with two. Drive and five rhyme well.

*I loved the last part about not taking a pill when you are 99.

*Overall,very,VERY creative and well thought out and organized ─CONGRATULATIONS!